Just to Get High
by gold.lie.promises
Summary: *Inspired by Nickelback's song 'Just to Get High'* A supposition of how Gareth turned into a cannibal after his friend Shepard got mad. Rated M for use of drugs, bad language, a very few sexual themes (actually a word or two) and violence.
1. Days & Weeks

**A/N: Hi! It's been a long while since I uploaded something… sorry about that. I used to be working on an Assassin's Creed fanfic, but I'm slowly giving up on it since I'm super busy with school.**

**So here goes a supposition of how Gareth could've turned into a cannibal. This is highly inspired by the song 'Just to Get High' by Nickelback because I'm basically going to use it as the base and then build a story around it. So you'll see many resemblances between the text and the lyrics.**

**I hope you'll enjoy it and I hope I won't give up on it too… I usually start to upload fanfictions once I wrote them all, but I decided to change for this one. Let's see how it goes.**

**Disclaimer: **I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD, IT BELONGS TO AMC. AND I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE LYRICS THAT MAY APPEAR IN THIS STORY, THEY ALL BELONG TO NICKELBACK****

* * *

I wiped my forehead and threw the shovel away, took a few steps forward and patted my old friend's shoulder. "We have to keep moving, Shepard," I said but his knees remained to the ground and his lips closed. I accepted his silence and sat down by a tree. After all, he'd lost his mother and God knew how close they were.

My old friend Shepard used to be quite of an addict of marijuana and the only person on the planet who'd managed to make him stop was of course his mom.

I suppose you can guess what happened then. He pulled out a joint of his backpack and began to smoke.

Days passed and we still hadn't moved from the area around his mother's grave. I went on a run in a nearby village for a couple hours and found him snoring like a beast when I got back. Although there was his buried mother that Shepard wasn't able to leave, this village was the second reason of why we remained there. When we needed supplies all we had to do was to walk about a mile to get to our destination. And our spot in the forest was also secured and vast enough for us to be able to walk around a bit before finding ourselves standing near a walker.

During this period Shepard barely spoke, moved and ate. He'd giving up on sleeping and instead smoked all night long, silently laughing in the darkness when our fire would die. He was taking random naps during the day when he was so high his brain couldn't work properly. His principal hobby remained to sitting down and smoking the few dozens of joints he had in his bag. Who knew he'd think of packing drugs before we escaped his flat?

Weeks passed and soon he ran out of joints. He shove a hand in his pack but his fingers only brushed the emptiness of the plastic bag his drug was in. He jumped on his feet with bloodshot eyes and looked around in a hurry. He looked like a wolf craving for fresh food after days of starvation.

Seeing he was getting all frustrated, I stood and shouldered my backpack. "Alright, I'm headed to the village. Need something?" But he stopped my every move when he pointed his gun at my head and shouldered his pack.

"I'll go this time."

His gun remained aimed on me until he was far enough and ran away. I dropped my pack and fell on my knees, now evaluating in what position of power I was put into. Not only would he turn aggressive and dangerous if he didn't have his drugs, but he'd actually be looking for people to give him some, meaning putting us both in danger just for a joint or two.


	2. The Ring

**A/N: Sorry it's up a bit late, I didn't have wifi for the past days, but I worked on it some more and ther****e's ****going to be a total of four chapters to this fanfic. So let's go with the second one…**

* * *

Shepard came back three days later. I must admit that I was surprised to see him because I thought he was dead or gone and although he was my best friend for years, what he'd done before he left had remained in my head. I couldn't totally forgive him for having threatened my life after everything I'd done for him – and his mother.

It was late night, the fire was dying but I'd noticed his silhouette in the darkness after a metallic noise'd caught my attention. I opened an eye, my hand searching for my knife, pretending to be still asleep. With a flashlight between his teeth, he was shifting his weight down, then left and down again and each time he'd go down, the noise of something metallic meeting the ground would break the silence of the night. I watched him dig his mother's grave for a few minutes until he kneeled and took the flashlight in his hand, searching the inside of the whole. Shepard bent forward to pick something out of it and examined the object. It reflected the light straight in my eye and I groaned at the feel of it.

He swiftly turned to look at me, pointing the light at my face. I sat straight and did the same with my own flashlight.

He had red marks on his wrists, a few cuts on his forearms and dry blood at some places. His fingertips had begun to blacken and I couldn't figure out if they were only dirty or if the drugs were already attacking his system. Between them, he held a silver ring with a light blue diamond in it. The contrast of dirty fingers and fancy jewelry felt odd but fascinating.

His clothes were bloody and ripped at a few places and his eyes were still bloodshot, telling me that he'd found what he was looking for… and most likely more.

"There's people," he simply said on a tone I wasn't able to read.

"In town?" He nodded. "What are you doing with your mother's wedding ring?" I asked confused at what was going on and still a bit asleep.

"Ain't got no choice if I want more, man. Have to pay them."

"Shep, it's the last thing your mom has left from your father, can't you let her have it?"

"She won't know anything about it, bro. Gotta go now, you may not see me anymore. Stay safe, _I trust you on this_."

He stood and I watched him walk away toward the village in the darkness when I felt my lungs tightening and I found myself chocking and in need for air. Why was he doing that? Why was my brother putting his life in danger like that? At that exact moment I wish his mother were still here to talk him out of his nonsense, but she wasn't. And that's exactly why he was harming himself like that: to forget.

That night I barely slept, couldn't stop thinking about Shepard, his last words echoing in my head as I realized that I may never see him again if I didn't do anything to stop him before it's too late. The more I played the words in my brain, the more I felt fear and anguish in his voice – or perhaps was I imagining it? – as if he knew he wouldn't make it out alive and that's why he'd taken the time to say goodbye. Perhaps didn't he want me to put my life in danger like his was already and that's why he'd barely talked to me.

After that long night of guessing I took a decision: I'd go after him and get him out of whatever he'd put himself into because that's what brothers do and I wasn't ready to give up on him so easily.


	3. Clean Souls

_We're up to no good. Beware clean souls._

I cocked my head to the side as I reread the words wrote on a piece of carton and each time I couldn't help but to wonder what those _clean souls_ were or meant. What did it take to be a clean soul? I thought we were all quite dirty now after years of surviving and killing, but apparently I was wrong. I shoved the message in my pack and pursued deeper in the village looking for Shepard or anyone else.

It was very hot that day so I went to the grocery and waited a moment inside for my body temperature to decrease, to rest and eat a bit. I was brutally awakened from my nap by gunshots later in the afternoon. I glanced out the window and noticed people standing away under the rain. One was crouching, another one seemed to be holding someone, the rest around. I packed my stuff, took out my baseball bat and left the store. One of them looked very familiar and I feared he was doing something that was very wrong.

When I found a car in which I could hide close enough to hear what was happening – even though they were already shouting – I noticed three men with a strong frame standing around the one on the ground and Shepard who seemed to be using a frightened woman as a human shield.

"Lower the knife, man. That's not cool!" the one that was kneeling said.

"Don't ya think I ain't aware of what y'all gonna do when I lower my weapon!?" Shepard screamed.

The ones around had guns and knives in their hands but none were pointing them at him. They glanced at each other and seemed confused which made me guess that perhaps the guy on the ground was the leader. "Let her go and I swear we won't bother you anymore," he said.

"I already shot you, ain't that enough?"

I inspected the guy and indeed he was bleeding; his blood was dripping from his thigh, mixing with the rain and spreading all over him very fast. I knew exactly what was coming and the other most likely noticed it too because they looked around and one left the circle to go kill a nearby walker. Soon they'd outnumber us and we'd be trapped.

Shepard's lips began to twitch, telling me that he was getting nervous – a tic he's had since we were kids. He tightened his grip on the handle of the knife he held at the woman's throat and a nervous sound escaped from her mouth as she shut her eyes closed and gripped at my friend's forearms, attempting to free herself.

"You can't kill her…" the guy said on a sad tone and he lowered his head as if desperate.

"What's she for you anyway?" Shepard spat.

"She's my wife."

My friend's frustrated expression faded as I read a "Holy fuck," on his lips that he must have whispered. My jaw dropped at the turn the situation was taking and I jumped when I heard a low thud behind me. I turned and saw a walker moaning against the window of the car

And suddenly I was so damn grateful that I'd thought about closing the door behind me when I entered.

But behind the lone walker I noticed a horde that was headed toward us and the two tall and muscular men left around Shepard, the woman and the leader turned around and also left the circle to go meet the undead and kill as much as they could. Until one of them and I made an eye contact, noticed that I was still alive and pulled me out of that car. I fell to the ground and he forced me up and yelled to his boss to look at what he'd found.

Shepard's jaw dropped this time and the guy on the ground frowned. "Who's that again?" he said with a very few interest in his voice.

"Don't know but does it really matter?" the brute – let's be honest – laughed.

"You're right… throw him to the walkers, it'll get them busy while we finish here," his boss proposed. He cared for me as much as anyone would care about seeing a leaf falling from a branch.

The brute laughed some more. "Good idea, boss."

Then he turned me around and kicked on me to make me fall a few feet away from him and closer to the horde. At the sight of a walker grabbing my shoulder Shepard yelled and slit the woman's throat before running toward me, but his race was cut short by the brute who'd punched him before he could reach me.

Meanwhile, I shrugged my shoulder in a hurry and had shoved the blade of my knife in its skull. Though I didn't have time to get up on my feet, only to crawl backwards a little bit before more walkers stumbled over me.

"NOOOO GARETH!" I heard Shepard scream. "NOO! LET ME GO, LET ME GO!"

I was fighting for my life while my friend was fighting against the brute. Under the moans I could sometimes hear him struggle to knock him down and at last I heard a gunshot and a heavy thud. The noise it'd made had relieved me from a few walkers, but I wouldn't have made it alive if Shepard hadn't stood against the horde by killing and pulling onto every undead he could reach until he found me and helped me to my feet. We both nodded to confirm that we were okay – his nose bleeding and a bruise already forming on his cheekbone – and instantly we started running. We passed by the guy that was crouching now crying by his wife and toward the forest where we'd have more chances to hide.

But then we heard a gunshot and one of us feel to the ground.


	4. Ashes of a Monster

**A/N: Hi guys! So this is chapter 4, but it won't be the last one as I'd said previously, there's still one more chapter + the epilogue left. Otherwise this would've been wayyy too long. Enjoy!**

* * *

We kept pushing ourselves deeper in the forest and it must've been the more cruel thing I'd ever done. Shepard had been shot in the back but refused to stop walking; the only times he'd rest were at night. We kept our schedule for watch but I extended mine for a few hours to allow him to sleep some more and forget about the pain.

I knew he was badly hurt and we didn't have the medicine to help him feel better, but he kept on pretending that he was fine every time I offered him to take a break. He kept pushing himself farther and tried to hide his pain from me – even though I was perfectly aware of it. Then we slowly ran out of food and had to ration what was left to make it one more day.

After five days Shepard gave up on his hiding and we stopped our journey in the timber. I made him sit with his back leaned against a tree and gave him a gun so he could watch for walkers while I was setting up a perimeter like we'd done the last time with barbed wires.

I took care of him as best as I could with what we had left during his last hours of agony. When he felt like his end was at the corner he asked me to hand him his pack and took out of it a plastic bag inside of which was a green mixture tied with some sort of rope and rolling paper.

"Please," he said on a weak tone. "Burn my penis, add the ashes to the mixture and smoke them."

"What!?" I frowned in disgust. "Bro, that's fucking gross!"

"Do it for me, as a reminder of all the good times we shared together."

"Don't you prefer to keep it in case you need it in Heaven? I could burn something else… what about your ear?" I proposed, hoping he'd accept.

But of course he didn't. He chuckled at my words. "You know, I ain't going to Heaven, bro. Look what's left of me." He rolled up his sleeves to show me the wounds he had there. "Ain't no God will accept me with these devilish marks," he pulled back on them to hide his bloody forearms and looked up at what we could see of the sky through the foliage. "Ain't nobody will ever go back there anymore, anyway. This world's changed us in such ways that we've become monster. _We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive_, so we don't deserve a place up there. We've evolved into violence, my friend."

Shepard turned back his attention on me and his eyes caught with my tears. "I'll never forget you, bro. Your words will forever remain an inspiration."

He smiled. "I hope to see you wherever I end up someday." I could only nod at his statement. "Now would you please finish it so I ain't dying in sufferance? See, I think I've had enough and although I ain't ready to die yet, better do it quick once and for all than wait and suffer."

Again I nodded and he gave me his gun with a small smile. _"I trust you on this_, bro." He placed the canon of the gun against his forehead and looked me straight in the eye as he waited for his end to come.

I shot my eyes tight and pulled on the trigger. A loud sound exploded at the end of my arm and my brother's body remained against the tree, but lifeless. I curled up in a ball and sobbed as reality slowly found its way to me: he was the only one I had left from my past life, from what I used to be before all hell break loose. He was the last person I could've laugh with about things we've done when the world was still in one piece. All our memories had now died with him and I was left alone.


	5. A Honorable Friend

**A/N: Last chapter, it's here that it really begins. Hope you'll like it, personally it's my favorite so far. Don't miss the epilogue too, there'll be a whole lot of information and explanation in it!**

* * *

At night I did as he asked me: I cut off his penis – with disgust, of course – burned it and spread the ashes in the mixture I'd smoke in his honor. The morning after, I lit up the first joint as I began to dig his grave. I suddenly felt a lot better now that I was doing what Shepard used to be doing during his last days, I could almost feel as if he was still with me. The sun quickly settled high in the sky and it got too hot for me to continue digging so I took a break with my joint. I stared at Shepard's dead body and began to laugh. I'm not sure what was so funny, but I was laughing. Madness had most likely begun to creep inside me now that I was alone, thirsty and starving – and high.

That night, I lit up the second joint and was surprised of how good they tasted with my friend's genital ashes inside. It gave that special taste normal blunts didn't have and I liked it a lot! I suddenly had a foolish idea, but again I was mad and starving so it seemed to be a not so bad idea. I took my knife, approached from Shepard and cut off his left hand, then cut off a part of his forearm, put it above the fire and waited. At first I was still unsure about whether or not I should do it, but I gave up on self-control and shoved the roasted flesh in my mouth. I was so surprised of how good it tasted that I cut off another part of his arm and ate it.

* * *

I awakened in the middle of the night very upset. I stood up and looked at what was left of my friend: his torso, his head, half of his left leg and a bit of his right upper arm. Suddenly I was extremely mad at him, not quite sure from where that anger came from though. I spat everything I had on the heart at him, wet bangs of hair falling in my eyes now and then from the constant rain pouring since the last three days:

"Tell me what you know! Who were these people, why did you do that? Why someone as rational and smart as you would do something so foolish? would risk their life for something stupid and useless? would give up on everything just to find something that would help them forget the pain? Death and pain have always existed and now more than ever, but it's not a reason to make us weaker. It's actually a way to make us stronger. We'll always lose in this world, it's an unfair game in which we're outnumbered by the threat but we can't do anything about that and certainly not let our guards down.

"Tell me what you gone and done now! It's not even the drugs that killed you, isn't that fucking ironical after all? Yeah, I think it is. You should've killed yourself man, a gun would've done the trick. Instead of threatening both of our lives, instead of ending up your days in such a shitty way, you could simply have put a bullet in your head to end up your miseries. It would've been so much easier."

I briefly noticed that the sun had already begun to set in the sky, but really my mind was busy on some other things. I walked back to my sleeping bag and took my baseball bat. "And do you know what I think of this?" I poked his nose with it, a few remains of dry blood from his fight with the brute still stuck in the hair over his upper lip. "I think it's a foolish gift of yours. You were never a fan of baseball, why did you have that? You gave it to me as a leftover, huh, because you didn't know what to do with it huh? Well here's what I think of your stupid gift, Shepard."

I shattered it against a tree, as simple as that. After it'd met the trunk a few times it was broken. I threw it away and looked down at my friend, hands on my knees so our eyes would be at equal height. "This is what I think of your stupid gift. That's it."

I turned on my heels and sat on my sleeping bag, glancing down at him a moment in silence. Then I lit up the last joint and laugh, a desperate and full of regret laugh, almost painful. "Sorry man, I don't know why I did that. I didn't have any control on myself for a moment… that was stupid. I liked that bat, but now it's… yeah," I sighed as I looked away at where I'd threw it. "Well now I can't use it so I might have to borrow a few of your weapons. Do you mind?" A few seconds of silence passed and I nodded, imagining his answer in my head. "'Ight, thanks bro. Oh, and I also might need some of your stuff, I doubt you'll need any of these anymore, you see."

I stood, scavenged his pack to fill mine and took a moment of peace to finish my joint. Then I set his body in the whole I'd dug for him and covered him with earth as I made my last goodbyes to a honorable friend. I set the mini shovel on the side of my pack, rolled the barbed wire that secured our camp and looked around one last time. Here was where Shepard's grave was, his mother's about a mile away in this same forest. These woods now had a meaning to me, I'd left a part of me here.

I shouldered my pack, dropped the joint on in his grave and walked away.


	6. Epilogue

**A/N: Sorry if it sucks, I totally ran out of inspiration for this… but hey, the story's over now so let me know if you liked it or not and if you have any other comment, please express yourself! Thanks for reading, I like you (:**

* * *

Although I ate canned food for a while after I'd left Shepard I hadn't forgot the sweet taste of human flesh. Just as a vampire craves for blood, I craved for humans.

Once I met a teen, a nice blonde haired girl of about 17 years old. I was surprised to see her alone so we stayed together for a while… until I killed her during the night and ate her. That happened about a month after the episode with Shepard. I'd tried for a long time to control myself and stop my hunger for humans but it obviously didn't succeed.

After the girl I began to consider myself as a walker. At first it was a very horrible thought and I got insomniac. For days I remained in my barn, laying down and looking up at the ceiling for hours only moving to pee, to find a more comfortable spot or to climb down the ladder and go eat another piece of my victim.

It took me several months to accept my fate as an alive walker and when I did I found other people I didn't dare to eat – mostly because they were old or unattractive, but also because I learned to care again for people and cared for them – and introduced them to my lifestyle when they had no more food. Then one day we found a message near train tracks saying "_We have shelter and food. We don't bite, join us!_" and followed the map. We ended up at the Terminus and discovered a magnificent place, fenced, wide, walker-free, away of big cities. It seemed to be the perfect place for us to stay until the people living there threw us in train cars and abused us. Despite the loss and the pain we stayed strong and soon pulled up a plan to take the place. It worked nicely.

We found a way to keep their bodies and fed from them for months. Then we ran out of food and of people, the place was hard to keep running, so it was our turn to make signs to invite people. We'd then make a selection: the ones we keep and the ones we eat. We sent people to change the old signs to put our own instead with a nicer and full of hope message and broadcasted it to catch as many people as we could.

"_Sanctuary for all, community for all. Those who arrive survive."_


End file.
